An Eroica Christmas Carol
by VladTheImpaler413
Summary: James must learn the meaning of Christmas by some very important spirits. Finally done!
1. Night Before Christmas

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**Dedicated to a very special friend. Hope to see you out of the hospital on Christmas!**

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It was a cold snowy night. It was the night before Christmas Eve. Everywhere you looked, people where getting ready for the festivities. And especially at Castle Gloria.

There was not one nook or cranny that was not decorated. If one stepped in, they would be in a Christmas wonderland. There were great wreaths hung all around, stockings lined the great fireplace in the main living room. Mistletoe hung from every door way, and there were 21 trees throughout the castle. One for each member of the Eroica gang except for one. Dorian had gone through great lengths to steal a lot of millitary look garb for it. He had a special tinsel made from bullet shells of a magnum circling it. There were black, red, and yellow baubles hanging from it. Pictures of various spots in Germany could be seen here or there, a long with the prized Major's belt. As for a star, there was a German flag on top of it. In Dorian's words it was "dreadful and unromantic but wonderfully the Major." The Earl wanted to make the german come out there, but...

"James! It's only going to be for a day! I'll kidnap the Major and bring him here!"

"No! We've already gone past our budget! And besides, he'll ruin everything anyway! No one likes him! He's too scary!"

The entire castle was filled with those two arguing. It had been going on for a week now. Once the Earl got wind of the fact that the Major didn't celebrate Christmas he was determined to have him over. When Klaus refused him over the phone with a "not in a million years you bloody wanker!" the blonde got the idea to kidnap him. Fly to Bonn and kidnap the Major for Christmas Eve and Day, make him have a good time, then send him back. Maybe have a little "fun" while he was at it.

But James being his stingey self denied the Earl funds for it. He had already put all of the money in an account and there was only a small amount left over.

"Come on! It's almost Cristmas! Show some charity!"

"I already did! I let you go and buy several Christmas decorations!"

"Most of which I had to steal because you didn't want to buy them!"

Bonham looked between the two of them before stepping into the middle of them, announcing that they should get some sleep. Both reluctantly agreed. It was well past midnight. Dorian looked at James with a rather somber look on his face. "I hope you change your mind tomarrow."

"I won't!" James retorted back and retreated to his chambers.

* * *

James sat on the edge of his bed, counting some coins he had collected earlier that day.

"Twenty five...twenty six...twenty seven..."

**Clunk! Scraaaape! Clunk! Scraaape!**

James looked up and stared at his door. Fear etched on his face he hestiantly called out, "Earl? Bonham?"

There was no answer.

James was about to get up when a box attached to some chains came through his door, sending the small man scambbling backwards and he hid on the other side of his bed.

**Clunk! Scraaaape! Clunk!**

The noises stopped. James waited for a good five minutes before he poked his head up and gave a great scream. A man was floating in the middle of his room, chains and boxes were strapped to him. James then noticed that not only was this man see through, but that he looked familiar. The man was wearing clothes similar to him and his hair looked almost like his. The only thing different was that the man's hair looked silvery white.

"U-uncle J-j-jack?" James stammered, trembeling in fear. "I-is that you?"

"Yes! It is I James. I have come to give you a warning so that you may be saved from the fate that is my own." The man said, his voice echoing slightly.

"I don't understand. Wait! Earl is that you? This isn't another trick is it?"

The man shook his head making many of his chains tinkle. "No. This is no trick. James you will be visited by three spirits this night. Each will arrive at the toll of the hour."

It was James turn to shake his head. "No! No one is visiting me unless they are donating money."

Jack suddenly lurched forward, heaving his chains with him. He thrust a box into the smaller man's hands. "You see this box? These are chains that I have forged, these boxes are the weight of guilt and selfishness that I must drag around with me forever! Never resting! Know this James, if you think these are heavy, yours will be heavier and longer!"

James dropped the box. It was the heaviest thing he had ever held. "But I don't want to walk around with chains! It's to heavy! You have to help me!"

Jack heaved himself to the window, the tattered purple curtains fluttered a little. "Remember three spirits James. Each hour they will come. Learn from them. Do not make the mistakes I did."

"But you taught me everything I know about accounting! I now live a better life because of it! That was no mistake!" James blinked and Jack had vanished. The window was open. James quickly ran over to shut it, before turning back to his bed.

"Well spirits or no spirits, I've got coins to count!"

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**I know it's probably stupid. But I'm using James as Scrooge. Don't worry, the others will be appearing real soon! After all, it wouldn't be Eroica without the Earl and Major!**


	2. Past

**Thanks for those that read!**

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James had just fallen asleep, all five hundred and eighty five coins successfully counted, when he was awakened by a bell. It sounded like Big Ben was right in his room. He looked over at his small alarm clock.

1:00 A.M.

"It's only one. Still time for sleep." James told himself. He promptly settled back on his bed and rolled to his side. Just in time to see Lawrence standing by his bed with a flashlight.

James sat up quickly, "Lawrence! What are you doing here! The Earl will be mad! He'll tell the Major!"

Lawrence laughed. "I'm not Lawrence but the ghost of Christmas Past. But you can call me Lawrence if you want."

"That makes no sense!"

"Only a real man could see that that makes perfect sense. Now come on. I want to get done as quickly as possible! There's a couple of girlie clubs I want to visit tonight!"

A vague and dreamy expession invaded Lawrence's face. He then turned his head slightly chuckling to himself. James watched in disbelief that the incompetant man, both spirit and otherwise, had made at least several different faces before looking back at James with a puzzled expression.

"Well?"

"Well what? It's you who are in my room. If you have something you'd like to give me then give it and go."

Lawrence suddenly jumped back away from James. Looking at him as if he had grown an extra head. "I mean I need you to get out of bed! We have things to see! I wasn't told I had to give you anything!" He looked away, looking thoughtful for a minute. "Should have asked Future." was muttered under his breath before he looked back at James. "My apologies. I should have brought something. I know! I'll take you to a girlie club later!"

Suddenly the over excited Lawrence, (or in this case the past), yanked James out of bed and rushed toward the window. The window burst open and James screamed, closing his eyes, waiting for the fall to the pavement. But it never came.

He opened his eyes and found himself flying with Lawrence holding his hand. They were flying into some kind of light and when it disappeared, they were in front of a school. It was just a public high school and a bit run down. Weeds had over taken much of the building and there was a broken window here and there.

"I know this place! This is where I used to go to school!" James exclaimed.

Suddenly Lawrence took his flashlight and shone it on the school. It seemed to cover the entire building and suddenly it was as good as new. It was just as James remembered. Suddenly people started appearing. People that James could remember by heart. He looked at them, and then he spotted a familiar sight of long blonde hair.

James started when he realized that that was the Earl when he was much younger. Lawrence pushed James forward a bit so they could see a window on the first floor. James looked through it and saw himself. His hair was a little longer than but he was still just as small and thin.

"Do you remember anything about this day?" Lawrence asked.

"Yes! This was Christmas Day and this was the first day that I met the Earl! I wasn't really happy that day. I was waiting for my sister to come get me. I got bored and started doing math on the board when the Earl saw me. He talked to me and ever since then we became friends. Later on I became his accountant and friend. But lately he doesn't pay that much attention to me. Lately it's been all about the scary Major."

Lawrence nodded before he waved his flashlight across the building. It changed into his old home. It was a small house and it looked like it needed some work here and there, but it was rather cozy. It was painted a light blue color with brown trim. The paint needed a new coat, but none the less, it was home.

Snow covered the ground and house, making the christmas lights' glow seem brighter. A worn wreath was hanging on the door. There was lights on in the house and a tree blocked the window. Lawrence grabbed James's hand and pulled him into the house.

"Don't! I don't want to be seen in my pajamas!"

Lawrence rolled his eyes. "They can't see us or here us. I thought you already knew that."

James shook his head. "No! I didn't! You didn't tell me!"

"Oh. Heh heh." Lawrence scratched his head looking sheepishly.

James looked at the scene before him. Everyone in his family was there. Even the Earl. They were crowded around a piano that James's mother was playing. She was rather pretty. Her chestnut hair was long and somewhat wavy. Her large doe eyes shone brightly as she sang a carol with the others.

"Mom. I miss her." James said softly to himself. He suddenly felt sad. He was on the verge of tears.

The scene changed again by flashlight and this time it was his living room again. There was a tree there but this time it was not lit. There were people there again, but they were dressed in black. A large coffin stood in the middle of the room. In it lay James's mother.

"She died the next Chistmas. I stopped liking Christmas since then."

"Why become stingy though?"

"I went to live with my uncle for a while. He never celebrated Christmas or birthdays. He said it was a waste of money. And he was right."

They watched as James put a single white rose in the casket. He felt a tear form on his face and looked away. "Why are you showing me this?"

Lawrence shrugged. "It's for you to remember."

James suddenly launched himself at Lawrence. "Thanks for reminding me! I hate you! I hate Christmas!"

Lawrence flailed and James grabbed the flashlight. He smashed it on the ground causing a big light to come out of it. Then just as suddenly it was dark. When James's eyes focused he realized that he was in his room. Lawrence was no where to be found.

"Stupid Lawrence. I can't go back to sleep."

James got up and went to his safe. Pulling out some bags, he sat on the floor and began to count his coins again.


	3. Present

**Thank you YellowRedOrGreen for the lovely review! And thanks to all that continue to read this!****

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Dorian stared at his phone that was sitting on his nightstand, debating whether he should call his german love or not. The Major was probably sleeping anyway. The man had a ridiculously tight schedual. Dorian often wondered if there was ever a time when Klaus deviated from his routine. He obviously did when he was on missions, but what about when he wasn't? Did he just laze around like the Earl often did? Or did he go to parks and enjoy himself? Or (heaven forbid) did he go to those night clubs where women indecently exposed themselves?

It was that last thought that made Dorian remember Lawrence's words.

_"The Major is the Emperor of Hamburg Nights."_

Was Lawrence spouting off nonsense again? But then again...

The Major had hung up rather quickly when Dorian last called. There wasn't any bickering, no death threats, no yelling and hollering. As a matter of fact it was rather hurried. What if...

_'What if the Major is with a woman!"_

Dorian refused to believe any possibility that any female could tempt his Major. The Major himself seemed to only go after nuns. But then again, Lawrence...

_'I have to call him!'_

The Earl grabbed the phone and dialed the number he knew by heart. He waited for what seemed like an eternity before it stopped and gruff, rather irritated, voice answered.

"Hello?"

Dorian felt relieved. "Merry Christmas Major." As soon as he said that he held the phone away from his ear.

**"You called me in the middle of the night for that! You wanker!"**

"I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?"

He heard a heavy sigh before," Yes, I was."

"Oh, well a thousand apologies. Good night from Eroi-"

**CLICK!**

Dorian smiled. He knew the Major wouldn't here it. It was relieveing to know that the other had just been sleeping. He couldn't stand the thought of any woman even touching the Major. Not that Klaus would ever allow that. It made him wonder if the Major ever kissed any one.

_'Probably not. He hates it when other people touch him. Pity really.'_

The blonde sighed and settled himself into his own bed. Immediatly wishing that the Major was next to him. That would have been a perfect way to wake up on Christmas.

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**BONG! BONG!**

James jumped up from his bed when he heard the sound of the bell. He looked wildly around him as if there was some one going to attack him. It was then that he noticed that his room seemed a little brighter than usual. He looked at his door and saw bright lights coming from under it. Cautiously, he went to the door and opened it. To his astonishment, the whole sitting room that he had vacted prevously was much more elaborate. There were decorations upon decorations, and on the floor sat thousands of toys, and in a corner sat what looked like a mountain of food.

"Come now, don't be shy. Look at me James."

James looked behind him and saw...

"Earl? Where did all of this come from?"

The said being indeed looked like the Earl. He was wearing a long white robe that flowed around him like waves. His curls were laced here and there with holly. But the only difference seemed that this Earl had a continuous etheral light around him making him appear more angelic like.

"I am not Earl, I am the Ghost of Christmas Present."

James sat in disbelief again. "I get it. This is your way of getting back at me isn't it?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

The spirit laughed lightly. "Come, touch my robes."

James looked at the "Earl" shocked. "Y-you want me to touch your robes?"

"Yes."

James hesitantly reached out and grabbed onto the Earl's sleeve. There was a sudden pull and James felt him self being slammed onto the ground feet first. He looked around and saw that he was in the Earl's bedroom. The real Dorian was sitting in his regal bed talking on the phone looking throughly stunned.

"But you have to celebrate Christmas! I know they do in Germany!" There was a pause before he continued. "For Heaven's sake you went to Sunday school!"

The spirit walked over to his counter part and seemed to sympathize with him. He tapped the phone and a small spark eminated from it.

"I want you to come over and celebrate with us. The more the merrier right?"

From out of the phone, the Major's voice could be heard loud and clear. "There's no way in hell I'm spending Christmas with a bunch of thieves, gay ones at that. And I am perfectly fine with the way I spend my Christmas. So sod off you idiot!"

"What if I came and got you?"

"You know there's no way that your tightwad accountant would let you come. And the answer is still no."

James visiably flinched at the sentence. Not only was it true, but he didn't know that his penny pinching ways was that famous. If Klaus knew, then so did everyone else.

"Then I'll ask him! I'll make sure you're here!" The Earl hung up and seemed to hurry down the stairs. James knew that was probably the time that they had started arguing.

The spirit gently grabbed James's hand and guided him to the phone. Whereupon he touched the reciever and the pulling feeling was back again only this time when they landed James had no clue as to where he was. They were in a spacious room with very little furniture. There was a decent sized bed with a plain dark green bed spread. A little nightstand with a lamp and alarm clock was on it. There was also a regular black telephone on it.

James turned around and came face to face with a fully clothed Major.

"Don't kill me! There's a spirit here and he forced me to come here!"

The small laugh caught his attention. Standing behind the Major was the spirit. "He can't hear or see you."

It was true as the Major suddenly walked through him. The spirit glided toward James.

"Come here James."

James followed the spirit Earl all the way through the house. At the front door he finally turned around.

"James, do you see any decorations? Any trees or people that look happy?"

The small man shook his head.

"That's because he has never celebrated Christmas. He doesn't know the joy of Christmas."

"That's absurd! Even we celebrated Christmas when my mom was alive! What about when he was a child?"

The Earl shook his head. "I'm afraid not. It's nothing to do with being stingy. It's just that he doesn't know how."

At that exact moment, Klaus appeared in the entryway, heading somewhere. To the library perhaps.

The Earl looked at him fleetingly before turning back to James.

"I'm afraid that if he doesn't see come this Christmas, then the Earl will never celebrate Christmas." A sudden chimmning of a bell sounded. The spirit started to fade, leaving James to stay inside of the Major's house.

"Wait! Don't leave me here! You can't leave me here!" James wailed.

Suddenly the whole place went dark. It was as if all of the lights went off, but he could still make out the shape of furniture. Then a horrible realization dawned on him.

He was still inside the Major's house!


	4. Future

**I know it's freaking May! And I haven't been able to upload this chapter! I'm sooooo sooorrryyy!**

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James looked around in a panic for any way out. He began to frantically tug at the front door's handle. It was locked.

"Open up you stupid door!" James shouted at it and began to bang on it. "I said open up!"

"Quit making so much god damn noise!" A loud voice suddenly boomed out from behind him.

James jumped and whirled around. There in all of his stately glory was the Major. Just mere inches away from him him. James felt his heart stop right there.

"I-I-can e-explain everything!" The accountant studdered, terrified as his well known fear of the Major surfaced.

"I already know! I'm taking over for that bloody idiot!"

James stood there at a loss. Finally the words seemed to have registered into his mind. It was also then that he noticed something else, the Major was wearing what the could say were the grim reaper's robes themselves. "So..does that mean that you're the...Spirit of the Future?" He timidly asked.

The look a like Klaus gave him a rather sarcastic look and said with a tone to match, "No. I'm your grandmother. Who else do you think would come for your sorry ass? Now let's get moving, I don't want to be here all night with you."

And with that, the Major grabbed a hold of James' hand and the accountant felt rather than saw the shadow that loomed over them. It enshrouded them, causing a dark and cold gloomy feeling. When the darkness left James saw them standing inside of the main hall of Castle Gloria.

"Why are we here?"

Klaus just made a sweeping gesture with his hands as if to say 'look around you idiot.' James obeyed the silent command and looked all around him. The decorations were gone and the whole place had a cold feeling to it. It made the hairs on the back of the accountant's head stand on end. He turned to look at his companion. "What happened here?"

"Why don't you go find out?" The Major like spirit said, waving his hand into the direction of the bedrooms. More specifically to the Earl's bedroom. James wasted no time climbing up the stairs. He made it to the room in a matter of seconds. When he opened the door, he was surprised at what he saw. The Earl was laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling of his four poster bed. He looked rather frazzled and almost in pain. As if he was in some sort of silent agony and then it hit James. This was the same look he had when his mother had died.

He was about to ask what happened when Bonham appeared behind James and walked right through him.

"M'Lord. Won't you come outta bed at least? I know you don't want to celebrate Christmas anymore, but at least come down for a bite to eat."

"I don't want to think about this day anymore Bonham."

The older male sighed. "It's been over a year M'Lord. Surely he wouldn't have wanted you to suffer like this."

Suddenly the Earl sat up looking angry. "And how do you know what he would have wanted!"

When Bonham went quiet the Earl sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. It's just that I could have saved him! All he had to was be here and not in Bonn!"

The blonde suddenly threw himself back onto the bed and rolled over onto his stomache. He was sobbing to himself. "I shouldn't have listened to James!"

From the corner of James' eye, he saw the spirit shake his head as if it were...being sympathetic?

"Spirit. Who died on Christmas?"

The Major smirked. "You want to find out?"

The shadow was back and when it left James was standing in a graveyard. He turned to look at the Major, "What are we doing here?"

The spirit pointed to a Magnificent mausoleum. It's white marble and impressive gothic arch in the front of it. James walked closer to it to find out who was so important that the spirit needed to point it out. Upon reaching the very front of it James couldn't help but gasp slightly. At the very top of the arch in bold letters said the name:

**Eberbach**

"Does this mean that...that-"

"Yes. It means that the Major is dead. He was killed on Christmas Morning at precisely 9 o'clock in the morning. He was shot at his own house while going to church."

"T-then that means-"

"Yes. You could have saved him. And then the Earl would have been happy and noone would have died on such a day."

"But what would become of me in this outcome?"

The shadow fell across him again. Once it lifted, James was confused. They were under a bridge. The river was ice and the snow on the ground undisturbed.

"Why are we here?"

"Look behind you."

James looked and gave a mighty shriek. There on the ground was a frozen corpse wrapped in a shabby blanket. There was a tuft of black hair poking out of the top of it and James knew. He knew what was under that blanket and he didn't want to see.

"Spirit is that me?"

"What do you think?"

"But why?"

Suddenly the spirit was angry. Apparantly it lost its patience. "You idiot! Do you not even realize! How could you return to your companions after letting one's loved one die! You've betrayed them all! Even I who have no feelings know that!"

James, fearing the wrath of the Major like spirit, threw himself on his knees and began to beg. "Please! I'll save you! I'll change for the Earl if I have to! Please! I'll celebrate Christmas as if I would die the next second!"

"What's done is done."

James closed his eyes, crying. "I'll never be stingy like that again! I have seen my ways! I'll carry Christmas in my heart like I used to! Just please give me a second chance!"

When James opened his eyes he found that he was back safe and sound in his room. He ran to his window and practically jumped for joy when he saw that this was indeed his room. Not some horrible premonition, he was given a second chance!

Second chance.

James hurried over to his clock and looked at the time. 3 o'clock in the morning. Enough time to get to Bonn and back before the Earl woke up. As quickly as he could he ran all the way to Bonham's room. He barged into the room causing the poor man to practically have a heart attack.

"What the 'ell are you doing in here!"

"Bonham. I need to gather everyone and I need your help."

"On what?"

"To make the Earl happy for Christmas morning."

"How?"

Suddenly James grinned causing the other to be a little apprehensive. "We are going to kidnap the Major."


	5. Christmas At Last

Bonham stared at James as if he had grown an extra head.

"What did ye say?"

"I said we are going to kidnap the Major and bring him here! We don't have much time! Come on!" James said tugging on Bonham's arm, but he didn't budge.

"Have ye gone nutters James? Ye just said that ye didn't want the Major here!"

"Yes that was before, I don't have time to explain. Just think about how happy the Earl will be when he sees the Major first thing in the morning!"

Bonham thought about it for a moment. It would be nice, especially since the Earl was nice enough to give them each gifts, expensive ones at that. He could just see the blonde now waking up and finding the Major under the tree.

"Alright, let's go then."

* * *

The crew was gathered together with the help of Bonham and they son found themselves outside of the Major's household. The manor was dark but they each knew that it was only a matter of time before the German soilder got up.

"All right, does everyone know the plan?"

They all nodded in unison and got to work. Three men climbed nearby trees and climbed to the roof. They carefully sent down sleeping gas through the chimney. There the gas would spread through the house, never waking any of the occupants.

After a ten minutes, they gave the signal to James, signaling that it was all right to start with Operation Christmas Gift. Bonham and James signaled to the others to pick the front door locks. The deed was done and they found themselves in the Major's room, no problem.

However, there was a significant question. Who was going to try to grab him first?

"What if the Major's pretending to sleep?" One of the men muttered to James, clearly afraid that the man was indeed pretending. It wouldn't be the first time.

"James should do it! He thought of this idea in the first place!" A man named Johnathan hissed at the others.

"I'm not doing it! He always hits me!" James whined softly.

"I'll do it." Bonham said relucatantly. He was tired of the other's bickering and knew that if the Major was indeed asleep, he would have certainly woken up from whispers.

Slowly and carefully, Bonham inched his way forward and reached out a hand. He was mere centimeters away from the Major's sleeping face when a hand shot up and grabbed his. Two angry green eyes opened.

"You're damned right I'm awake!" The German yelled starting to sit up.

He took a quick look around and established that all of Eroica's men were there. "I don't know what that idiot is up to, but he had better-"

The Major never finished his sentece though. One smart man had brought chloroform and had the decency to silence the Major while he was distracted. They all stared at the man that had slumped forward apprehensively.

"Is he asleep now?"

Bonham nodded.

"How do you know Bonham?" James inquired.

"Because 'e let go of my hand." Bonham stated now nursing his sore hand.

* * *

The mission was a success. Just as they put the Major on board the Eroica blimp, a black car had pulled up. Evidently, the Major's would be killers had just arrived. But thanks to James' intervention, Klaus would be spared one more Christmas.

"Bloody 'ell he's one heavy bloke." Bonham commented when they had finally hefted the Major onboard.

"Yeah, but he'll be worth it in the end." James said.

All of the others were aware of the changes in James and each became a little wary of him. But either way, they figured that it was because he was trying to get ack into the Earl's good graces. They each remembered the fight between the two.

"Maybe James has a heart after all."

"Or maybe he's gonna cut our pay again!"

"Maybe the fight was just a cover so that James could give the Earl a better Christmas."

The talking never ceased even as they tied the Major up from head to toe. None of them were taking a chance. Even tied, the Major was a dangerous man. As an even extra precaution, they decided to take turns watching him, and if he awoke to early, they would give him a small whiff of sleeping gas.

Bonham took over as the last watch and shook his head at the sleeping Major.

"Major, just please don't kill any one when you wake up."

* * *

The alarm clock sounded in Dorian's room. He lazily shut it off and pulled himself from the bed.

_'Ah,Christmas is here. Shall, I dress in robes? Yes why not? It feels like a flowing day.'_

Those were the first thoughts that entered the blonde's head. He believed that one should always look good, no matter what the situation.

"Let's see, I think the white with red and gold over the top will do."

Seeing as the day was the day for lounging around, he really wasn't bothered about pants. Just flowing silks today. The Earl finished dressing and looked over at his phone thoughtfully. He debated on whether or not to give the german a call.

_'No, he'll probably just yell at me again. I'll call later.'_

Dorian gave himself a quick look over and deemed himsef worthy of appearance before he opened his door. A white envelope fluttered to the floor as it was released from its place wedged between the door.

"What on earth?"

Dorian picked it up and saw James slightly untidy scrawl on it. He opened it up.

Earl,

I felt really bad about being stingy yesterday and on Christmas. I hope that you'll forgive me when you recieve my gift. It's down stairs in the dining hall.

James

Dorian was unbelieveably puzzled. What on earth would James have given him that would be in the dining room?

The smell of food suddenly hit his nose and he recognized some of the odors. There was bacon, eggs, what smelled like burnt toast, and..

_'Is that fried potatoes? I don't eat them that much.'_

Shrugging to himself, Dorian decided to find out what James could have give him as a present.

* * *

Dorian walked into the dining room and looked on the table. The room was big enough to serve several people a banquet which is what was going to happen later. There was real silverware on the table, festively decorated with garland and small table wreaths. The white candles in thier silver holders would be lit later when the big feast arrived.

At first Dorian looked at the table, wondering if James had put it on the table. The long table held nothing, and Dorian looked up from the front end of it and jumped slightly when he heard what sounded like a muffled groan.

He saw a body tied up in a chair at the far end of the table. Dorian Whoever it was was tied up tightly and had a green ribbon adorning his middle. Shoulder length black hair hung in front of the man's face.

_'Is it? Could it be?'_

Dorian didn't even give a moments hesitation before running over to the figure in the chair. This caused the man to look up at his captor.

It was the Major! Just like the Earl wanted!

_'The Major is here! Tied up and defenceless! In my home! Oh, thank you James!'_

"I guess I was a good boy if saint Nick left me you."

"Hhnnnmmmffff!"

"Oh, and he gagged you at the same time! Wonderful. Just sit right there and don't move. I'll be right back." Dorian giggled at his own joke.

The other however gave a frustrated muffled yell.

* * *

"James are you in there?" Dorian called through James' door.

The door swung open giving the blonde a small fright. "Happy Christmas Earl!"

"I should be saying that to you James dear. But how on earth did you manage to get him?"

James looked sheepish. "The others helped. Escpecially Bonham."

The Earl nodded thoughtfully. "Well, whatever the case, Happy Christmas James." And with that he gave the small man a quick kiss on the lips before leaving. He could still hear the other man squealing like a little school girl.

* * *

"I'm back Major."

The Earl's announcement was answered by a thud. Apparently the Major had the idea that he could try to reach the knife at the end on the table closest to the Earl. It must have been a huge achievement because he had traveled half way up the room with his legs and arms tied.

"Oh, Major. I would like to untie you, but I know that I probably would be dead by the time I finished."

"Hnnhhmmppp hhnn.'

Dorian considered his options carefully. "Major, I'll remove the gag if you promise not to yell until I'm done explaining what happened. Does that sound fair?"

It took perhaps two mintues before Klaus was calm enough to nod in agreement. Dorian removed the cloth from his mouth, waiting for the explosion. But surprisingly, it never came.

"First of all, I was going to just leave you be. Second of all your kidnapping was done by my men without my knowing."

"In other words they just broke into my house, woke me up, and kidnapped me."

"Precisely."

"And they did this all on thier own did they? And who organized the operation? I know that more than half of them are terrified of me and the others are to stupid to think of a heist all by themselves. So, I ask did you organize them to do this?"

"I just said it was without my knowing! We talked about kidnapping you but I didn't think that they would acturally do it!"

Klaus could feel himself about to snap. "Then who did it? Who organized it all?"

"James did."

That did it. "You stingy bug! When I find you your're dead! You son of a-"

* * *

Christmas dinner was served at five. Every present was opened, even the Major's which turned out to be a real Walther P38 from Germany in World War II. He seemed pretty happy with this saying that it was the first gun he had ever used.

On the whole, he spent the entire time tied up. And refused breakfast. He was not going to be fed like a child!

"Oh, come now Major. This will be the only way. None of us trust you enough to untie you."

"So, I'm to sit here tied up? And what if I did come of my own free will? Would you have tied me up still?"

"I'm afraid not. But the dinner will get cold if you don't."

"I'll starve before I'm fed by a wanker like you!"

The others sensed that a shouting match was about to go off and they quickly left the room. James was the fastest because the Major spent the evening staring at the accountant like he was secretly plotting something sinister and terrible.

"And here I thought you would have liked to have a Christmas away from NATO!"

"No I wouldn't! The world of spies doens't sleep!"

"I'll bet Mischa does! I'll bet he celebrates!"

"Then chase after him! Leave me alone you faggot!"

That was it! Dorian climbed on top of the Major's lap.

"Get off me! Don't you dare touch me you-"

Just as he opened his mouth Dorian was quick and shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes down Klaus's throat, causing him to choke a little.

"See? That wasn't so bad. There's no one here. So they don't have to see."

Klaus gave this a thought. He was hungry, he hadn't eaten anything that day and considered the idea.

"If you tell anyone I swear-"

"I know I know. You'll find the worst way to kill me."

* * *

As night fell, and Christmas came to a close, the Earl placed a call to the butler at Eberbach's resident.

"Is the master all right?"

"Yes, he's fine Herr Hinkel. We just decided to get him into a Christmas spirit."

"Oh, thank god! I thought that he might have been killed or something."

Dorian was puzzled. Is that why the butler seemed panicky when he first picked up the phone?

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, this morning at nine, a car pulled into our drive. I immediately alerted the headquarters of Bonn, just as the master ordered. Two men were in the car and were apprehended. Apparently, they are neo nazis that wanted revenge on the master for something he did. They were going to kill him! I'm just glad that you got him beore they did!"

The rest of the conversation was lost unto the Earl. He was so shocked that his Major would have been killed if James hadn't intervened. He couldn't even bare the thought that his precious Major was about to become a body bag.

"Are you still there? Hello?"

"I'm sorry I was distracted. Listen, I must hang up now."

The exchange was done and the Earl now had something interesting to tell the Major. Or at least lengthen James' life span for a little while longer.

* * *

"I guess I can't be to angry at the stingy bug, huh?"

Dorian had told the entire story to Klaus. "Yes. You should probably thank him. He did save your life."

"I'll thank him later." Klaus said, trying to shift a little.

"Are they painful Major?"

"What do you think? They aren't exactlly comfortable."

Dorian sighed. "If I untie you will you promise not to hurt anyone?"

"Well, I do owe the bug a favor. So I won't kill him right away."

The Earl took that as a yes. He knew the major would never agree to anything. "All right then."

Moments later the ropes were undone and the Major was standing, stretching out all of his muscles that had been cramped. Dorian tensed a little. Almost as if he was prepared to capture Klaus if he chose to run.

He didn't. In fact he seemed to be perfectly content on walking around. "I don't suppose they were nice enough as to steal my cigarettes."

"No, but I have them anyway. I stole them a while ago."

"When!"

"Oh, on one of your missions or something like that."

The Earl left the Major to grumble to himself. Something about thieves and him no doubt. Dorian sighed. If only the Major weren't so dead set on opposing him all the time, then he'd show the German a really good time.

_'Although, it wouldn't be the Major if he were to suddenly give in. On a happier note, I got him to eat out of my hand!' _Dorian thought excitedly. For the Major to eat out of his hand was like a small victory. A rather hard earned victory.

Humming a random Christmas carol to himself, Dorian set off to his bedroom to get the cigarettes he secretly lit when he hadn't seen the Major in a while.

* * *

The next fifteen minutes were not so good. It took only fifteen minutes for the Major to disappear. The men confirmed that they hadn't seen him leave and that he was somewhere in the castle.

It then took another ten minutes to locate him on a small balconey. This time fully dressed in suit and tie.

"Where did you go!" Dorian shouted slightly out of air from all of the running around.

"One of your men was kind enough to steal some of my clothes. Although it's rather disturbing, I don't feel like standing around in my nightclothes."

Dorian felt relieved. The man hadn't left. Relaxing a little he handed Klaus the cigarettes and a lighter. Klaus grunted a small thanks before lighting it and taking a few puffs. Dorian smiled and let his attention wander to the scenery before him. They were currently on the small balconey that over looked a beautiful garden. It wasn't to high up, at least seven feet was it's maximum height. The blooms would be radiant in the spring but for now, they were covered in snow. The full moon above gave everything an ethereal glow.

But most of all, his eyes wandered over to the German next to him. The moon gave his face a softer, more peaceful look. His raven hair stood out more and Dorian wished that he could have a painting done just for him to keep.

"It's nice outside tonight, ja?"

It took maybe a full minute for Dorian to realize that the Major was talking to him. "Yeah, it really is beautiful tonight."

It was quiet for a moment and then Klaus spoke. "So, why were you so desperate for me to come here?"

Dorian thought about it for moment. "I just wanted you to celebrate Christmas. You know, as you would have with family and friends."

"I see. So kidnapping people is part of it too hm?"

"I just told you that that was-"

"I know, I know. It was the bug's idea."

A few more seconds of silence, and then, "Major, how come you don't celebrate Christmas?"

Klaus thought about the times when he was a child. His parents celebrated it when he was small, and then when she passed, he was at boarding school. But, the thief didn't need to know of his past.

He shrugged. "I'm just not into it."

Dorian sensed that there was something more to this story but decided not to press the German. He didn't want the man's temper to rise and ruin the moment.

"And just to think that if you weren't here right now, you'd be dead."

He saw the Major visably flinch as he thought of that. Yes, right now he would be buried six feet underground if it hadn't been for his kidnapping. The thought made him shutter and he mentally noted that he would have to tighten security. And give the butler a bonus for calling the police. And give into some kind of demand from the thief beside him.

"What do you want?"

Dorian snapped out of his daydream. He was just fantasizing the Major was an angel coming from above to reward him for saving the works of art that had been created from the days of old. And that his reward was Klaus to be with him for all eternity, allowing him to be victorious in everything he endevored.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

Klaus grunted in annoyance, "I asked what do you want? It's obvious that you are going to hold this over my head for as long as you live."

"But I wasn't the one who saved you. It was James."

"He's easy. I'll give him two hundred pounds for my life. You on the other hand will lord over things. Such as making me eat from your hand and that your men were able to over power me. You'll never let me forget and you'll hold it above my head to get what you want. You know it and I know it."

Dorian nodded thoughtfully. He knew that this could entitle him to anything he wanted. Anything at all! But, he knew there were limits. He knew that by Klaus's standards, the price would have to be small, nothing perverted, and nothing to extravagent. The thief thought it over for a minute before coming up with something.

"All right, you got me. Here are my demands. First of all, you must promise that you'll at least visit us at every Easter, Halloween, and Christmas."

"Provided I am not on mission." Klaus interjected.

"And I will confirm if you really are or not. And secondly, I want a kiss."

Klaus flung himself as far away from the blonde as he could. "What! Wait a minute! I didn't say that I would do any of that you foppish queer!"

"But you said that I could demand anything!"

"No I didn't! You just decided that on your own!"

"I will tell everyone at intelligence! I will even tell Mischa that you ate from my hand!"

Dorian quieted down. As soon as he said Mischa he could practically see his mental cogs at work. He knew that Klaus could take the banter at NATO because everyone there feared him. However to let his mortal enemy know would kill the man. Klaus would rather die then let his enemy know any kind of weaknesses.

"Fine, but you have to close your eyes."

Dorian could hardly believe it! He was finally going to get that kiss he desired so much! The very kiss he chased after in his sleep! Dorian did as he was told and closed his eyes. Waiting for the feel of warm lips against his. Maybe he even had a cigarette after taste. He could hear the other stomp on the cigarette butt, the crunching noise singaling his kiss was not to far from him.

He waited for what seemed like forever when he felt a small peck of a mock kiss on the side of his face. And then there was a whoosh! and a small thump sound.

"What are-"

The Major was gone. Dorian looked down over the balconey and spotted a black sillouette running at high speed.

"Major get back here! You're going to catch your death out here! And I demand a real kiss not some peck on the cheek!"

But Klaus was to far away to hear him. And even if he did, he ignored him.

Dorian sighed and went inside. And then a sudden realization made him feel alive with energy. The Major had kissed his cheek! The Major had acturally given him a kiss without to much coaxing!

"Is the Major still 'ere me lord?"

Bonham had seen the Earl come in with the biggest smile he had ever seen. He looked like he had just stolen a whole museum with that smile.

"No, I'm afraid not. But he'll probably be back. After all, he doesn't have anywhere to go."

"Uuumm...Acturally me lord, he phoned agent Z to get 'im. I didn't see any harm in it so..."

Dorian closed his eyes and sighed, still smiling. "That's fine then. I'm sure his men will come to his rescue."

It was silent for the moment and then Bonham decided to speak. "So, what shall we do with the Major's nightclothes? Should we send them back to him?"

"No. I'll take them."

* * *

That Christmas was a memorable one indeed for everyone. It was the time when James had learned the true meaning of Christmas and even opened his heart to others. He wasn't as stingy since that day. He had even began to become a little more giving.

Klaus had gotten home thanks to the help of agents Z, G, A, and B. He absolutely dreaded the next few holidays and hoped that they were times when he was on mission. And he also went through an entire tube of toothpaste to fend off "that homo's germs."

And as for Dorian. He got to see his beloved Major more often. He soon began to expand the hoilday list onto things like New Years, Valentine's Day, and even for Oktoberfest. And as a bonus, he had the Major's nightclothes to cuddle with at night.

So, Merry Christmas from Eroica With Love. And God bless us everyone!


End file.
